cant even enjoy what i used to enjoy in peace?

人老了。。真的没斗志了。。

sometimes..just feel there is a need for a change..but i dont know how....=/

sighs...

ideally..or realistically?

sigh...

cant help it but feel life is getting too complicated while humans are getting too simplistic..

i feel i have changed quite abit..now that i look back..i was really quite simple and innocent in the past..even just yesterday..

have i succumbed to reality? or have i just seen and experienced too much and grew too 'wise' for my own liking...

somehow..i prefer the me 1-2yrs ago...so many things, that i would do then..no longer even pass my thoughts now..i have turned...soooooooo 'practical' in a way i myself dont even like...

向命运低头？ or 向现实低头？

i am starting to dislike myself...the me now that tries to siam all unnecessary work...no longer the same old helpful me...no longer the me that even i myself respect (自恋..lolx) sometimes.

so what if i really get 6A+ this sem...so what if i really have more time to play my keyboard, learn my malay well and more free time to play game? i wonder...will i really be happier that way?

then again..doing so much other stuff...is anyone else really better off from all the time and effort that i am putting in? is anyone even really appreciating, even if they dun say it out? i wonder...

but at least back then i din really feel the 'cognitive dissonance' when i was putting all my time doing things i promised to do..and sticking with my principles...

my mind seems to be deviating from my soul...my passion, my ideals, my drive, my dedication, the me yesterday, the me one yr ago, the me two yrs ago...where are you??

sometimes i already feel i have all i can achieve already..so what more am i expecting?

where are my realistic ideals and my ideal reality?

sighx...

memorising or familiarising

if you memorise something...you will eventually forget about it when you dont need it anymore..

but if you make yourself familiar with something...even few yrs down the road when you see the same thing again, you will still remember..

sometimes, it's just a matter of a change in perspective and a slight change in the way you do things.

small changes can make big differences..why not give it a try and change for the better? =)

bit by bit..i am finding my own rhythm in life..

brain working again..:)

Quote:

“天下大乱， 就是由野心引起的。”

that's why i dont like to dream big...but..

“真忠臣， 要把权压下奸臣。”

otherwise all the good people will just slowly die off...

It is perhaps directed towards the wars and chaos in the past, but i think it takes another form of its own even today...the question is: "what do people see the world today as?" You can easily live and die without making any significant impact to the world. It may just be something that isnt worth saving to most people, or rather not at the expense of individual gains. Maybe it's true to some extent..just let nature takes its course..if humans are meant to walk towards our own downfall, together with mother earth or not...so be it...

"One person alone cannot change the world" - L

尽力而为, 死而无憾....i guess it's all a matter of perspective. everything i mean. There is no real right or wrong...and when u start to think that way...sometimes you just dont feel like trying to convince people or sell something..but...you should at least have something you believe in.

I am glad i hasnt fall into the absolute neutrality stage yet i guess. At least, i am still a firm supporter of hardwork and effort. To me...hardworking people never fail to touch me..and it reminds me of another quote previously..

“花漂亮，是应为不管在什么环境下都不屈不挠的开放着...”

The beauty in life, comes from the every little thing people do everyday..

“活着， 能做更多更有意义的事。”

live on...

Okay it's getting more and more random..haha..but just finding back some things i believe in..the source of my self motivation. :)

lalala...