Decision..

Shall just stick to 4 wheels and be happy with it. I think bike is not for me. Shall save some money..for rainy days...

And with that decision made, i suddenly feel it's time to get back to what i am good at. Time to start mugging without a doubt. *determined*

Looking back, everytime i decided to give up on something, my result shows..

Sem1: Decided to quit bball training ---> 5.0
Sem2: Busy with IMHope stuff ---> 4.7
Sem3: Decided to stop my keyboard lesson ---> 5.0
Sem4: Exchange ---> N.A.
Sem5: Decided to stop learning bike ---> ???

Maybe it's a form of subconcious compensation to myself for quiting something, so i work doubly hard and be extra focus. Wonder if the same thing will happen again this sem..hmm..CAs are almost all over, left finals to work for. Din do that great for CA..but wads done cannot be undone~

Anyway i did realise something in the process..that is that if you wanna do something out of interest and for fun, it shouldnt ever come with a cost..tangible or intangible. When the cost out weighs the initial interest, the purpose is lost.

Genuinely full time mugger from now on..(when i am in school though, doesnt change the fact that i cant study at home)..dont even need to worry about IMHope stuff, no thinking about wasting money on failing bike lesson, no more projects and everything is in my own hands now..

i realise too, i do best in things where pure efforts count..and that's what i am going to do..

Jiayou bah..

Thou' cant do work at home...

Saya tidak boleh belajar di rumah~

Can study at home! haha..

Alright..one more week without any decent work done! whoa..i guess i am slowly getting used to such life even in SG le..hmm..or maybe there isnt anything really urgent yet..or maybe this semester's modules were really too 'easy' such that i din even feel like i need to do much work..=0

Well..such doesnt apply to me only though..because statistics for 3 of my midterms shows more than 40 people getting full marks and on average about 100+ people getting higher score than me...when actually i thought i was doing quite ok already with 27/30, 28.5/30 and 50/60...hmm...

Oh well..not that it is really bothering me much..cos i am already quite happy with my 'raw results' considering my half hearted mugging for midterms..=D

But then again..it wld really feel sucky if you get an A- or something worse when u only get 1 or 2 MCQ wrong though..hmm..

Hope finals would be more difficult! :o

Time to start studying in school soon~ =)

*moderately motivated*

Coping with life: lesson no. 1

"Don't just think about yourselves."

When you start to learn to think for others, think in other people's shoe, you are able to see your own lives from a 3rd person POV.

It's amazing, and when you think about it at a deeper level, a lot of things about yourselves, seriously, doesnt really matter. They only matter and start bothering you because you are so occupied with your own existence..only.

Look around, talk to people, understand people around you. Maybe you will start to realise that all your personal worries, fears, stresses are so insignificant.

Chill...relax...take it easy..life is simple. it just goes on no matter what happen =)

10102009

Whoa..celebrating birthday 3 times in 24 hours is really...unforgettable..

Dont really know what to say..just a BIG THANK YOU to all who remember my bday, be it on facebook, sms, msn, call or in person!!

And a new spaulding basketball! cool! long time no play le! =D

Heartfelt gratitude..it's a day I wun forget..:))

good days ahead to all!!

Terima Kasih! =D

not such a pleasant day...

Arg..elearning week..but i am not learning the modules..lol..

Screw ups in life:
1) Failed my first bike lesson this morning..-.-''
2) Think i lost my driving license..dunno when but I cant find it and dont even remember the last time using it...

Craps..

And i realised..or rather was reminded by myself that...although i passed my driving in one try..i actually had more lessons and spent more money under private instructor than some people who learn in school..hmm..i guess i aint really mechanically inclined..lolx. so glad i wasnt in engine..haha

geees..need to set aside more money for bike lesson i guess..hopefully pass le make new license wun lose again? =o

Just feel quite sian now..it's sad when you are stuck with certain harsh reality in life..as a matter of fact..i am really just learning bike for 'fun' and to gain a new skill that might come in handy next time..but the fact that every practical lesson cost money..and every lesson is 'graded' pass or fail..somehow the fun begin to turn into a sucky feeling...and of course..failing the very first lesson when most people wldnt have problem with doesnt really help..=/

It's all in the mind..just enjoy the process..if it's that easy this issue wldnt have bothered me for so long..

life if full of constraints and limitations..if i have unlimited money to throw into the lessons..or unlimited free time to take lessons..or more extreme even if i crash also wldnt injure..maybe i can really enjoy the whole process of learning more readily..

Despite the seemingly smooth and 'successful' life I have so far...my mind i really weak..no matter how much i try to convince myself that there is no point feeling angry or upset over unpleasant things sometimes...there is just no way to curb these feelings..

Or maybe..trying to use the mind to convince the heart is a wrong move altogether..

So then..how can you develop a strong mind and a firm heart?

Really kinda hate some of the negative emotions that really screws up people life..u can actually feel so sian over such a small thing like failing a bike LESSON when it's just cost at most a weekday kbox session..and misplacing the driving license when i dun even usually bring it out or use it..

I guess it all boils down to expectation...when things that you dont expect to happen happen..u just get irritated..blame others, blame the society...but most of the time you take half the blame for conforming. No one points a knife at you and force you to conform to these expectations..they just, reward you for conforming..it's you yourself that is greedy and fall for higher and higher expectations..

And the sad thing is..knowing all these..we are still doing it and getting ourselves pissed off for not achieving..

damn...

Logic and Reasoning..

If you are really sane enough you should understand that insanity is part and parcel of life..

Haha..it's not that I am too logical or what, i just feel that things as relationship should be considered as a matured and responsible manner eh?

And to quote from peifen's msn nick last time: "Rejection requires no reason because love requries complete acceptance.."

Somehow, i just cant find my complete acceptance yet. lolx. so nth to being too logical or wad..haha..in fact, if i had been so logical, according to my personality, i would love to have settled down and lead a 'peaceful' life like a cck. xD

The logical me tells me that love can be cultivated..but the ideal me says that somewhere out there, there must be a perfect someone that I can completely accept?

Let's just see how long I can afford to wait..hahaha! xD

pleasant day~

Today seem to have gone quite well!

Morning went to register for my 2B course! yay! vroom vroom! Booked lessons for next week! =D

Then went to school for midterms..EC2101..well..EC EC EC EC EASY! haha. maybe can get my first ever full marks in uni! =O

Then decide to pon FIn2004..ops..never got webcast..haha..and went back BBDC for this 'compulsory' briefing on the booking system etc..nth much.

Home! and Conquered China! lolx. Seems like that's gonna mark the end of my gaming for a while? :)

Heard something nice from Karthika just now. Something that the sister in the ward mentioned. Something along the line that I know IMH very very well and bringing the residents out will be alright as long as I think it's alright? =0 haha..really din know that I actually warrant so much trust from them~ Though of course it's not just about me but rather all the other volunteers that have been around for many years~ :)Thought I would share this here, esp to jh also (the others dun read my blog lolx), cos this trust extents to you as well!

Every little bit count..somehow it feels good to know it. :)

Gambatte! Probably time to start appreciating the fact that I have the free time to learn what I wanna learn now and learn them well while I can. :)

That's it for ROTK11. =/